A brave new world

A brave new world
KIM QUINLAN, The Courier, 28th September 2015

BRAVE: Family violence survivor and mum of two, Melita Brimblecombe believes there should be tougher penalties for people who breach restraining orders. Picture: Lachlan Bence

AT THE tender age of 15, Melita Brimblecombe thought she had found the love of her life.

But not long into the relationship, she discovered her partner's true side. He was a cruel and manipulative man, who ripped Ms Brimblecombe away from the bosom of her family and refused to let her seek the comfort of friends.

And when she fell pregnant with their first child only months into the tempestuous relationship, things really soured.

"Once I was pregnant, which was about six or seven months after we started the relationship, life got really bad," said the now 24-year-old mother of two.

Even threats to leave and take his two children were laughed at by her former partner.

"He made violent threats towards me ... threats like 'if you leave me, I'll hunt you and your family down'," Ms Brimblecombe said.

He has also sent open threats back through their young son, who would return home after supervised visits with comments like: "Dad says he's going to kill you."

Ms Brimblecombe believes these threats aren't veiled and has even moved house four times in recent years to protect herself and her two young children from her ex-partner.

And the enforcing of court orders not to go near Ms Brimblecombe were ignored, as her ex-partner breached them on at least four occasions, each time resulting in either fines or further orders being handed down.

And the court orders were more than warranted, with violence in the relationship escalating to the point where Ms Brimblecombe's partner picked the petite woman up by the throat and threw her across the room. On another occasion when he was violent, Ms Brimblecombe had her young child in her arms.

During yet another violent outbursts, Ms Brimblecome was forced to lay on the ground in the foetal position to protect her unborn baby from harm.

And on an occasion where he breached a restraining order, he followed Ms Brimblecombe to his father's house. Once in driveway, she locked the car doors while he jumped on the bonnet yelling and screaming before grabbing the top of the window and almost pulled the door of the hinge. Her two young children were in the car and left terrified.

"You could see the anger .... he was full of adrenalin. My kids were petrified," Ms Brimblecombe said. When he realised he couldn't reach his former partner or children, he eventually drove off.

You could see the anger .... he was full of adrenalin. My kids were petrified. (Her partner) threatened me, he threatened to kill my father, my step mother and step sister. And I believe he was capable of it too. - - Family violence survivor Melita Brimblecombe

He has threatened to kick in Ms Brimblecombe's teeth and snatch her children away, claiming she would never see them again.

Each time he was charged with breaching the order, but either copped a fine or community service, leaving him out on the streets to further terrorise her young family.

Plucking up the courage to leave her partner was a big step for Ms Brimblecombe. "I tried to leave (on many occasions. I knew I had to build up the courage to get out ... it wasn't  a healthy environment," she said.

"(Her partner) threatened me, he threatened to kill my father, my step mother and step sister. And I believe he was capable of it too," Ms Brimblecombe said.

She said her lack of knowledge about services available to her four years ago, meant she stayed in an abusive relationship for longer than she should.

"At first I was too scared to contact someone. Back then I didn't even know that services like WRISC even existed," she said.

Eventually, Ms Brimblecombe was able to save enough money to leave her violent partner. That was in July 2011. At first her partner promised he would never hurt her again. This was an empty promise that Ms Brimblecombe knew would never be true.

And she was right. Only months later, in December of that year, her partner threatened her and a friend. he also locked their two young children in his car and refused to release them. It was at that time, Ms Brimblecombe applied for an apprehended violence order (AVO).

"It was at that time I realised I really needed help," Ms Brimblecombe said.

While the AVO application, which covered herself and the children, was successful, her partner contested it and the children's names removed. Her ex-partner now has supervised visits with his children every second weekend. However, she claims her children don't feel safe with him.

By speaking out about her traumatic experiences, Ms Brimblecombe hopes of raising awareness about family violence and start the ball rolling to make penalties for breaching orders harsher.

"There are so many people out there getting away with (family violence)."

The Courier attempted to contact the Department of Justice for comment, but messages were not returned.

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b) Click here to go to the WRISC home page